Things You Learn Being in Florida
Today was my first day back to work after a two and a half week vacation. Just one of the perks working for the school board. Unfortunately the work doesn’t do itself when you are on winter break. So as you can probably guess, it was a little stressful and a lot busy. Good thing I like being busy. 🙂 But rather than bore you with details of my day I thought I would share the following “joke” that was sent to me. Funny how so many of them are actually true. Which ones can you relate to most? Number 17 is one of my favorites….
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Florida.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Florida.
4. If it grows, it’ll stick ya.. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha.
5. ‘Onced’ and ‘Twiced’ are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it’s a buggy.
7. ‘Jaw-P?’ means, ‘Did y’all go bathroom?
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. ‘Fixinto’ is one word.
10. There is no such thing as “lunch.” There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12 Backwards and forwards means, ‘I know everything about you.’
13. The word ‘jeet’ is actually a phrase meaning, ‘Did you eat ?’
14. You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is. You work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.
15. You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
16. You measure distance in minutes.
17. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
18. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
19. You know what a ‘DAWG’ is.
20. You carry jumper cables in your car — for your OWN car.
21. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
22. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.
23. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
24. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit ‘a bit warm.’
25. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
26. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as’goin’ Wal-Martin’ or ‘off to Wally World.’
27. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew weather.
28. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
29. We don’t need no dang driver’s ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
2012: 365 Days a Year 